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i am rhea.
i love chloe.
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May 30, 2005

Posted at 10:24 PM

it's over.

i feel so fuckinalone.



April 7, 2005
p, i can't go on thinking of forever feeling this way...
Posted at 12:37 PM

maybe i am not so brave to admit that things aren't as nice as they were before. for once in my life, i really felt needed, longed for, hailed and treasured by you. those were the times that i never needed to exert even an ounce of effort to feel and see that you really cared. those were the times that i was foolish enough to let go of you for another jerk who just made things very miserable for everyone. and those were the times that i never gave you the importance you deserved. i was crazy for treating you that way. i never knew then that you were the one who could change my life in a way that i would never, ever regret. 

p, if i could only bring back those days when you were unbelievably ready to give out all the love you could share, i would. i took those times for granted because i never knew those moments would end. lately, i have been forcing my brain to come up with answers why i feel the coldness in your touch. i do not want to force my heart to yield answers because i know that i am not yet ready for these. i am afraid to lose you, p.

i keep on asking you why i feel the indifference, but you never give me the answers that i am looking for. it's possible that i have been exaggerating. but it's also possible that you are not yet ready to break the news to me. the wedding plans that we have are slowly materializing, but what bothers me is the sincerity that you commit to it. i never fail to ask if you are really ready for forever, and you always say you are. but i cannot be mistaken by what i see. and feel.

i dont know. p, i cannot move on feeling half-empty. i am deeply saddened by the turn of things. i know i cannot move on like this.

nevertheless, i am very thankful for the times we spent together. if this is going to an end, i can and will accept it. just please let me know.



January 29, 2005

Posted at 09:40 AM

My head's in a jam
Can't take you off my mind
From the time we met
I've been beset by thoughts of you
And the more that I ignore this feeling
The more I find myself believing
That I just have to see you again

I can't let you pass me by
I just can't let you go
But I know that I am much too shy
To let you know
Afraid that I might say the wrong words
And displease you
Afraid for love to fade
Before it can come true

Like a child again
I'm at a loss for words
How does one define
A crush combined with longing?
Longing to possess you oh so dearly
I'm obsessed by you completely
I'll go mad if I can't have you

I can't let you pass me by
I just can't let you go
But I know that I am much too shy
To let you know
Afraid that I might say the wrong words
And displease you
Afraid for love to fade
Before it can come true

--Afraid For Love To Fade


January 4, 2005

Posted at 07:47 AM

Since the moment I spotted you,
Like walking round with little wings
on my shoes
My stomach's filled with butterflies...
Ooo and it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feeling like I'm never
gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know
I'd lied

[Pre-Chorus:]
Everytime I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out that everything
I say to you
Comes out wrong and never
comes out right

[Chorus:]
So I'll say 'why don't you and I
get together and take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails
we'll try again'
So I say 'why don't you and I
hold each other and fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're
never going to let me in'

When's this fever going to break?
I think I've handled more than any
man can take
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing
you around
ooo and it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feeling like I'm never
gonna come down
If said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

And slowly I begin to realize this is never
gonna end
Right about the same time you walk by
And I say 'Oh here we go again, oh'

--Why Don't You and I


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