i suck at this.
Posted at 12:54 AM

[can't sleep. P and i had a fight. again. so i am now thinking of how to start this...]

i've been meaning to write everything since IT all started, but i know it would take me a lot of guts and brainwork to spill it all out. of course, i became busy spending my remaining days at l2s with my friends, but i know i just didn't have the courage to begin writing. so i just spent my time with them, even if i knew that i had to document IT to remember it, well, forever.

writing, for me, does not really serve its real purpose if it does not penetrate the readers. maybe i am just so into this whole thing, that i wanted to make whoever reads this lame outpouring of sentiments feel what i really wanted to convey. coz i want them to know and feel what i am going through. they must know.

i am so pathetic. i suck at being sad.

okay, i am sad. and i am unemployed. not that employers do not find me valuable, but i am still enjoying my time at home doing nothing and just talking to chloe. dog talk. no passing of applications, just pure and simple dog talk and dog life. i am loving it.

i am unemployed. and i am sad. because i cannot fix this career of mine when P keeps on acting immaturely and thoughts about M and the fuckin' what-ifs continue to kill me.

i bet you know P.

M? i bet u would not want to know his name.